“What is my love language?”
“What is my partner’s love language?”
“Can my love language change?”
The theory of the 5 Love Languages has been surging in popularity over the past few years. If you’ve heard about it, you’ve probably asked yourself some of these questions.
The truth is that Love Language Theory can impact more than just your romantic relationships. It affects how we give and receive love in our families and friendships as well as how we respond to certain reward systems at work!
Having an in-depth understanding of not only your own love language but also those of the people around you will help you make sure that you’re always offering love and positivity in a way that enriches and deepens your relationships.
Keep reading for our explanation of the 5 love languages and answers to some of the most common questions.
What are the 5 love languages?
The 5 love languages are essentially a way to categorise different ways of giving and receiving love. Our love languages are often formed in childhood and can be passed down by our parents.
So, if your Mum showered you with positive verbal praise growing up, you may respond best to words of affirmation.
Here are the 5 love languages explained:
1. Quality Time
If you love spending uninterrupted one-on-one time with your loved ones, then that might be a sign that your love language is quality time!
This love language feels the most comfortable receiving love in the form of undivided attention. They adore sharing new experiences and making memories together with their favorite people.
DO:
- Design unique dates for the two of you to enjoy together.
- Give them a few hours of undivided attention every day.
DON’T:
- Scroll on your phone during date night.
- Let your time together turn into “passive” time (watching TV or just sitting in the same room together).
DATE IDEA:
- If you or your partner’s love language is quality time, we recommend cooking a new recipe together and then playing a board game. Our personal favourite for QTs is We’re Not Really Strangers because it encourages players to connect on a deep, personal level.
GIFT IDEA:
- When shopping for a QT, think about experience-enhancing items. Our King Throw Blanket is the perfect addition to any game night or movie night, and it can also come camping or on road trips due to its compact travel bag!
2. Words of Affirmation
If you love giving and receiving thoughtful compliments and having heartfelt conversations, your love language may be words of affirmation.
These people react best to verbal praise, heartfelt conversations, and authentic compliments.
DO:
- Change up your affirmation and give more specific compliments. Instead of “you’re beautiful”, try “your laugh is so adorable, it makes me laugh too!”
- Offer them deep emotional connection via intimate conversation.
DON’T:
- Forget your manners. Missing a “thank you” or “please” will have a WA feeling unappreciated.
- Forget to listen. Active listening is just as important to WAs because their words are often a bid for a deep connection.
DATE IDEA:
- Choose an activity that your partner prides themselves on. This will offer you plenty of opportunities to remark and offer praise on their skillset. For example, if your partner loves action-based activities, you could go axe throwing and complement their technique!
GIFT IDEA:
- Was would love nothing more than a sentimental gift. Try making a photo album with a few notes throughout about your favourite things about them!
3. Receiving Gifts
If you love unwrapping a surprising, heartfelt gift, then receiving gifts might be your love language. Although this language is sometimes considered material and superficial, actually it’s much more complicated than that.
RGs don’t just want any gift. It’s usually not about the money, but the thoughtfulness and the idea that their partner wanted to show them they were thinking about them.
DO:
- Start planning your gifts for major holidays and birthdays in advance so you can find the perfect, thoughtful gift for your partner.
- Pick up little tokens for your partner when you notice them. See your partner’s favourite chocolate bar while paying for your groceries? Go for it!
DON’T:
- Give generic gifts. Try to give something that is specific and unique to your partner. Don’t just give roses, try a bouquet featuring her favourite colours & yours together!
- Believe them if they say they don’t want anything. They do! They’re just worried about coming across as greedy. Not to mention–they don’t want to have to tell you what they want! To an RG, it makes the gift way less special.
DATE IDEA:
Have you ever heard of One Pound Shop Dates? If you or your partner is a GA, this will become your new go-to!
- Start by picking a budget that you’d normally spend on a date. Say whatever you’d normally spend on dinner and the cinema.
- Then, break that in half. Each partner gets half of the money to do their gift-buying.
- Next, come up with a set of prompts with your partner. For example, “My Favourite Colour” or “Something to Drink”.
- Then set a time limit of 15 minutes, and go your separate ways, buying some surprise items for your partner based on each of the categories.
GIFT IDEA:
- Try to be specific to them. If your RG partner is always cold, try a luxurious, cosy Hoodie Blanket.
- If they are a hot sleeper, maybe a cooling blanket is a better choice! The goal is to be as specific to them as possible!
4. Acts of Service
If you love it when your loved ones help you out with tasks to make your life easier, then acts of service might be your love language.
This one is fairly common but relatively misunderstood. An AS person might enjoy frequent help with regular tasks, whether they are overwhelmed or not, and this person will never forget to remind you that your help was appreciated with a “thank you!”
DO:
- Walk the walk. Never tell an AS that you’ll do something unless you actually intend to do it.
- Go out of your way to let your AS partner know they can depend on you by hopping in and assisting with small tasks throughout the day.
DON’T:
- Give partial effort to the task at hand. If you want to show your loved one you care, give it 100 percent!
- Write off small acts. Many believe an AS needs grand gestures that take a lot of time, but the truth is that an AS feels most loved when their partner does little tasks for them consistently.
DATE IDEA:
- The most important factor for an AS when planning a date night is that their partner plans the whole date. If you put in the legwork to plan every aspect of the date, your AS will feel extra loved and cared for!
- A few other ideas popular among AS partners are breakfast in bed or dropping off a little care package of their favourite treats to their workplace!
GIFT IDEA:
- An essential oil diffuser would be a great way to give your special someone a lovely experience even when you’re not around. They’ll be able to enjoy amazing aromas all day and always be able to think of you while doing whatever they’re doing!
5. Physical Touch
If hugs and cuddles are your favourite activity, then physical touch may be your love language. A physical touch person directly associates love with physical intimacy, so a casual embrace in a public setting may be the ideal way to show them you care.
This is the type of person who will take it personally if you forget to kiss them goodbye before leaving to work. So if that sounds like you, you may be a PT.
DO:
- Engage in a bit of PDA: Hand holding and cheek kisses in public will make PTs swoon!
- Cuddle on the couch whenever you and your partner are watching a movie.
DON’T:
- Forget to connect physically when you see your PT partner after a long day at work.
- Sleep in separate beds if you can help it. PTs love to be the big spoon!
DATE IDEA:
- Try setting up a home spa day for them with massages and face masks.
- A sport that involves some physical contact or a workout class would be a great option as well.
GIFT IDEA:
- Weighted blankets are meant to mimic physical touch! This gift would be ideal for anyone who loves cuddles and hugs, so they could feel those good feelings even when you’re not around!
What is my love language?
The best way to determine your love language is to take a quiz online.
You can also consider your past experiences. What kinds of things have made a lasting impression on you? What sorts of romantic moments do you fantasize about? Also, what types of things do you love doing for others? This will help you understand what your language is.
What is my partner’s love language?
While you can speculate, the only real way to know is to talk to them about it.
If you want to open the question, start by asking them some of the same questions you asked yourself in order to diagnose your love language. You can even send them the link to the quiz if you’ve been dating for some time.
It’s also not a bad question to ask on a first or second date, as it will really help you to get to know them!
Remember, while matching love styles will be more compatible, it doesn’t mean that two different love language types can’t show each other love! You will both need to learn to appreciate each other’s love language in order to help the other feel special.
Can my love language change?
There are mixed opinions on this question. Generally, since your love language is formed in childhood based on how you received love, it’s not common to change overnight.
However, if you learn about love languages, it could help you to see and understand how your partner shows their love for you.
For example, if you’ve ever been sad that your boyfriend doesn’t get you flowers or plan elaborate dates on Valentine’s Day, it might help you to realize that every time he cuddles you or takes your car into the shop to get repaired, it’s his way of letting you know he cares.
Love languages for single people
Even if you’re single, it’s still important to know your love language. That’s because the most important person to show love to is yourself!
Take yourself out on a date if you love quality time or buy yourself a cosy weighted blanket if you love physical touch. Loving yourself will make it so that you always feel cared for no matter what!